Study Smart:First Aid

How Do I Make New Friends?

The Problem...

Dear Study Smart: Why do friends break up from being friends even though they knew each other since Kindergarten? She's been my best friend at school for years. What do I do now? How do I make new friends? -- Jennie, 12

A Solution

Dear Jess: Your friend that you've had since kindergarten totally dumped you? That's a bummer. Well, I know how hard that can be to not have many friends and then suddenly one breaks away. You may think it's something you did wrong, but really it's not. When you get older your interests and with that most of your friends change. It may take a while, but you'll get new friends soon enough.

• Be funny- everyone wants a friend who can make them laugh! Tell jokes. Make funny, but not mean, comments.
  
  
• Get involved- if you're good at sports join a team, that'll help you get to know some people. If you're not, ask the coach of that team if you can be manager.
  
  
• If you're good in school, volunteer to be a tutor.
  
  
• I know it's the oldest advice in the books but, Be yourself- because if you don't people will miss a chance to get to know the real you!
  
  
• Be nice and don't gossip. Talking bad about someone can make you loose a lot of people's trust.
  
  
• Be kind. Let someone borrow a pencil if they need to.
  
  
• Have confidence in yourself! In the morning when you wake up and get ready for school, look the best you possibly can and don't worry about what other people think!
  
  

After you get your new friends, you never know, your old "friend" might start missing the privilege of having someone as cool as you for a friend. Peace, love, and good luck to ya!

Other Voices...

Making new friends happens when you're at the right time, and the right place. For example, if you really like music, you could probably make a friend there. All you should do is introduce yourself and start up a conversation. You could probably talk about stuff like how much you like music, how much you don't like playing the piano. Things like that. Afterwards, you could probably meet up someplace where you both want to go. Then you'll be friends in no time. -- Monica.m

Making friends: I always was just upfront. Like I just walk up to the person and say, "Hi I'm Liz, what's your name?" That way you make the first move. Who knows, maybe that person was also wanting to meet you!--Liz.r

Okay, it's a new school year, and, that means, new crushes, new teachers, higher expectations, and..... NEW FRIENDS! You might seem a little frightened ( Or maybe a lot ), but here's a way that ensures new friends ( And maybe more ). The first thing you need to do is try to push away that bit of nervousness that you have inside. The next thing you need to do is try to look around the room and see who you do know, and who you don't know. Basically, the thing you need to do is join in a conversation that you think is interesting - if the people who are already carrying on the conversation do accept your ideas, then introduce yourself to them a little later on in the day. If the people carrying on the conversation look at you like you're the last person on this earth they want to talk to, don't get discouraged. Think about it as their loss - not yours. Though you might be bummed, remind yourself there are other people out there. These people just missed out on an opportunity to make a great friend. Best of luck! --Lauren.f

Making new friends can be difficult for some people because they are shy around others. Just be yourself. Don't care what other people think, that is to a certain extent. People who meet shy people tend to think they are snobs. They want to get to know the real you, not some made up person. So when you meet someone new, always be the real you. -- Tierney H

Here's five tips on making and keeping friends.

1. Extracurricular activities can help you make friends. Having common interests is a good way to start a friendship.
   
   
2. Being a natural conversationalist is good but most people aren't - they just learn to be. Making conversation with people you don't know is the key to making friends. Talking helps you learn the good qualities of a person as well as the bad. Try to focus more on the positive qualities and you'll make ever-more as many friends.
   
   
3. It is important not to be dependent on one best friend. That does not mean you should be best friends with everyone in the school - only that having at least three or four good friends can make life happier. You can turn to one friend for one thing while you depend on another for something else. It also makes for better times.
   
   
4. Call your friends up and make times to get together! Getting together with friends is important and sometimes friends can be reluctant to call. But you become better friends by sharing experiences, like going to the movies and laughing together, or coming over to your house for endless hours of talk, play, fun and activities.
   
   
5. Be careful with your friendships. Sometimes your opinion, or your wants are no reason to destroy a relationship. Cheating on a friend or gossiping about them just for the sake of, or to save yourself is selfish and it backfires. Often you lose a good friend and your trustworthiness will be called into question.
   
   

--Melody d.

If someone's in a wheelchair, that doesn't mean you should ignore them like they're from a different planet. It means that you should help them, hang out with them, teach them anything they don't know. Maybe you can even learn something from them. --Amanda.o

My idea for making new friends is don't be shy!!! You won't get anywhere with it. I don't mean be loud and rowdy all the time, but speak up about stuff you're interested in. Don't sit in a corner. Everybody has a certain interest. Maybe the girl next to you likes the Backstreet Boys and so do you! There's a way to talk. Talk about the things you like. Who knows? You both might have similar interest in just about everything! --Constance.b

Thanks to Katie G., 12 and all the girls who wrote these answers, to Jennie, 12 for the question, and to Gina for editing this article.