Study
Smart:First Aid
Dealing With Friends Talking Behind Your Back...
The Problem...
Dear Study Smart: I don't know what to do. I have
a feeling that my "best friend" is making fun of me behind my back. I
really don't have many friends because of the way I look and the things
I like. I have only that friend and I'm not sure what to do.  I
am scared, because If I do something wrong I won't have any friends. I
really need advice.---Thanks, Felicity A
A Solution
by Jocelyn F., 14, Canada
Dear Felicity,
Back at the beginning of the year, my best friend
started making fun of me behind my back. It's really hard to deal with
and I used to cry almost everyday. One day I was so upset I thought I
was going to be sick and my friend came into the nurse's office to see
how I was and I confronted her about my problem. I told her she was making
me feel really bad by talking about me and she apologized and now we're
more or less still friends.
I believe the best thing you can do is get your feelings
out. She'll likely respect you for it and you won't feel so bottled up
inside.
Some Solutions:-
Is there no one else at your school you could hang
out with? I understand you might be shy but a lot of nice people are more
than happy for some new friends. You might find hanging out with a new
group is the way to go.
I like the confrontation idea, although now my friend
and I aren't as close as before. I'm definitely glad I told her how I
felt!
Perhaps, just talking to some one else (a friend,
a sister/brother, mother/father, school giudence counselor, teacher, favourite
teddy bear) would relieve your stress and pain. I had a friend who talked
me through my ordeal.
May I also suggest switching classes if it gets really
bad? Most schools allow this as long as your parents are cool with it.
I'm sure if there's no other option and you tell your parents how you're
feeling they'll let you switch. This way, you're likely to get away from
the old group and near some new people you can become friends with!
Kids like to gossip. Most of what they say isn't true
and no one believes it anyway!
People almost always welcome new friends. Who wouldn't
want another cool, fun person to hang around with?
Blowups like this don't usually last long. Within
a few weeks these kids could move on to something new and totally forget
they even made fun of you! --Jocelyn
Other Voices
More Ideas on this Problem
Losing friends because of rumors? Don't know how to
deal with it? If you want the rumors to stop then you have to talk to
someone like a teacher or guidance counselor for help. They can talk to
some of the people who know what's happening. A good way to prevent rumors
is never to get involved in fights or agree with someone if they are talking
behind someones back. Why? Because that person will tell them and thats
how a rumor gets started. Stick up for yourself but never say who you
think it might be because with that you are starting a rumor! Ask who
told them. Then talk to that person who you were told had said something
to find out more information about the rumors so you can defend yourself.
To stop the rumors you have to find out who started it and why. -- Melissa.O
Just ignore what they have to say. Show them the "real
you". Be yourself. If people make fun of you, at least they know who you
really are. --Your Girls' World sista', Umbro
Ask around and find out if anyone has heard your best
friend make fun of you. If so, go up to your friend, not letting her go
on. You've got feelings too, make sure she understands that. Don't feel
like you have to go around pleasing her. If she doesn't stop, you probably
should find another friend. If your best friend is mean, she is not worth
having. You deserve more. --Megan H. 12 Illinois
Meet some real friends.You should try finding a pen
pal.You could really meet some very interesting people. If your friends
are really making fun of you behind your back then you should find new
friends. -- Nola O.,10 Indiana
Thanks to Jocelyn F., 14, Canada, Virginia, for writing
this answer, to Felicity for the question, and to Gina for editing this
article.
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