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This column was posted on 12/24/2002. Check back next week to see another "Between Friends!" question and answer. It could be yours!

What Do I Get the Mean Girl for Christmas?

I drew the name of a girl who has been horribly mean to me for a secret gift exchange for Christmas. My mom says I still have to get her something. How should I handle this? - Freida, 14, Delaware

"Hey, Freida!" II know how hard it is to be nice to someone who has treated you badly. You want to do something mean back to them. "An eye for an eye" right? It's Christmastime so let's quote Jesus: "You have heard that it was said, Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you both may be children of your Father in Heaven." Now if that isn't pretty clear, I don't know what is. So, I would say that you should give to this girl, like she was your best friend. But forget about gifts for a minute, that's not the point here. Sure it would make God happy for you to be selfless, and generous and give to this girl. But it would be a real offering of praise to God, for you to forgive her for what she has done to you, and to love her.

I know that is hard, but the first thing to do, is to ask God to help you come to terms with the hurt and to forgive her. Ask Him to teach you how to love your enemies and how to see His children the way that He sees them, He will most definitely show you. So, I pray right now that you will take that first step of forgiveness, and wait expectantly for God to take care of the rest. (Editor's Note: Kindness is universal and crosses all religious boundaries. Whatever your religion, say a prayer for guidance and give with a glad heart. This girl may be "mean" because she feels unloved. It might change everything.)

Well, bless you, Freida, and have a very merry Christmas!

Gabriella, 17, Idaho