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Dear Kayla, I'm sorry to hear that this problem has popped up between you and your friend.  You're right - he probably is just using her and doesn't want to be in a relationship.  But if she can't see that and she gets hurt, it's her fault.  You have done all that you can by warning her.  If she doesn't take the warning, then you just have to let her learn the lesson on her own.  That will be hard for her, but she will learn it.  And it will be a more effective way for her to learn.  Perhaps then, when another problem appears before the two of you, she will decide to take your advice and listen to your warnings.  This situation is one of those things where you just have to stop worrying about it after a while because you're no longer in control of it.  I do hope that, no matter how things turn out, you guys will still be able to be friends.  And, if not, just remember that it's happening for a reason. – Megan, 14, Illinois (PenPal #13317)

Kayla, have you ever heard the phrase “Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt”? I think your friend is sailing down that river, and she doesn’t really care if she drowns at the end of it. She probably knows what’s going on, but she’s in denial because she knows it’s going to hurt when reality creeps in. Seriously, this isn’t something you can fix. All you can do is be her friend, help if you can, and be around when the nasty ending happens. Which will probably be soon, so be ready for it. It’s not going to be pretty. Some lessons have to be learned the hard way, and I suspect your friend is about to learn one. Hang in there, and just be there for her. – Jani, 16, California

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