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Got a question about friendship problems you'd like another girl to answer? Click here to send your question in to "Between Friends!" You just might get your question published in our next "Talking About Friends" book!

And check out some past questions here in The Archive:

I Want to Keep My Friend!
Why Do the Friendships End With the Project?

How Do I Tell Her I'm Back to Reality Now?
What Can I Do About My Weepy Friend?
I'm So Jealous of My Talented Friend!
Are My Cousin and I Still Friends?

What Do I Get the Mean Girl For Christmas?
A New School But No New
Friends!
My Friend Is Sooo Emotional!

She Flipped Out Over A Boy I'm Not Dating!
My Friend's Parents Are Divorcing; What Can I Do to Help Her?
Am I Losing My Friend?
Will My Friend Ever Believe Me?
What Should I Do About My Lying Friend?

Should I Make Friends With a Mean Girl?

Which One of Us Is Wrong?
My Best Friend Kissed the Boy I Like!
She Thinks She's Too Good For Me Now!
She Hurts My Feelings and Just Won't Listen!
I Just Have to Know!
How Can I Get My Friend to Myself?

I Don't Want My Friend To Get Hurt!
Are We Friends or Enemies?
I Want Her For a New Best Friend!
How Good a Friend Is She?
I Want Back In!
I Want To Be Like Her...
I Think I Lost Her
No One Likes Me
I Want Some More Friends!
We're Drifting Apart!
My Friend is Getting Weird Over a Boy!
My Friend Has Had It Really Bad!
She Hit Me; Should We Stay Friends?
We Just Keep Arguing!
Can I Tell My Best Friend to Just Hush Up?
She Brags Too Much!

Should I?/ Where'd She Go?
I Want to Get the Two Sides To Talk! / I Want to Go But..!

Next Week

This column was posted on 2/2/2010. Check back next week to see another "Between Friends!" question and answer. It could be yours!

dear Between Friends


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She's Gonna Get Hurt!

One of my best friends can’t see how this guy she says she’s in "love" with doesn’t really love her back. How do I get her to listen to me when all she does is block me on messenger? I can tell he only wants to mess around, but she says he wants a relationship. But when they had a relationship, he broke up with her. She still does things with him, and says he still wants the relationship and so does she. But they aren’t together, and I know he likes someone else, and so does she. She wont get over him. What do I do?  I don’t want to see my friend hurt! – Kayla, 14, USA


Dear Kayla, I'm sorry to hear that this problem has popped up between you and your friend.  You're right - he probably is just using her and doesn't want to be in a relationship.  But if she can't see that and she gets hurt, it's her fault.  You have done all that you can by warning her.  If she doesn't take the warning, then you just have to let her learn the lesson on her own.  That will be hard for her, but she will learn it.  And it will be a more effective way for her to learn.  Perhaps then, when another problem appears before the two of you, she will decide to take your advice and listen to your warnings.  This situation is one of those things where you just have to stop worrying about it after a while because you're no longer in control of it.  I do hope that, no matter how things turn out, you guys will still be able to be friends.  And, if not, just remember that it's happening for a reason. – Megan, 14, Illinois (PenPal #13317)

Kayla, have you ever heard the phrase “Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt”? I think your friend is sailing down that river, and she doesn’t really care if she drowns at the end of it. She probably knows what’s going on, but she’s in denial because she knows it’s going to hurt when reality creeps in. Seriously, this isn’t something you can fix. All you can do is be her friend, help if you can, and be around when the nasty ending happens. Which will probably be soon, so be ready for it. It’s not going to be pretty. Some lessons have to be learned the hard way, and I suspect your friend is about to learn one. Hang in there, and just be there for her. – Jani, 16, California
Pssst!

Pssst! Our advice columnists can't answer every question personally. But we do our best to pick and answer questions representative of all our reader's problems. Is this an emergency? Need advice FAST?

  1. Here's a list of telephone help lines from PBS - Help's Around the Corner!
  2. Contact Teen Line Online: Teens Helping Teens
  3. Check out the National Runaway Switchboard
  4. Get in touch with other girls and talk it over - in our Circle of Friends PenPal Club!
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