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This column was posted on 3/2/2010. Check back next week to see another "Between Friends!" question and answer. It could be yours! |
No More BFF? We are having a science fair. Our teacher told the captains to choose the people in their teams. So my BFF (Lifetime BFF!) chose our enemy but didn't choose me. I fell apart then. I am one of the best students in science but she still didn’t choose me after I begged her to. I shouldn't have done it. I am so sad now. Does that mean she doesn’t like me anymore? Did our friendship come to an end? – Amanda, 11, Florida Amanda, that is not a fun situation! But it’s definitely not worth losing an otherwise perfectly good friendship over. Face it, you can't be friends with someone without there ever being a little drama once in a while. Things like this have happened to me before. Recently we had to pick teams in PE (not my best subject) and my friends didn't pick me as I expected. Instead I ended up on a team with some really annoying girls. What they did to me, and what this girl did to you, was wrong. But its not that big of a deal, especially not big enough to fight about. Be happy with your great, but not perfect, friendship, and learn not to worry too much about the little things. – Lola, 13, Pennsylvania Dear Amanda, it is very unlikely you have lost a friend. This has happened to me before. Perhaps she has decided to put the hate behind her and try to make friends, or, at least not hate the other girl. But the best advice I could give you is, talk to your friend. Say "Listen, you didn't choose me for the science fair, and that’s no big deal right now. But you chose (name of mean girl here), and I've been wondering why. Would you mind telling me?" The best thing to do is to talk to her. If she is a REAL friend she will understand and tell you. Or maybe she doesn’t quite know why, and you would need to understand that. I hope I've helped you. – Emily, 10, Florida (PenPal #15838) I don't think it means your friendship has ended. Maybe she just wanted to see if she could make peace with the enemy. That's possible. Sometimes it's good to branch out. It's healthy to have a bunch of friends but only one or two really good ones. However, that doesn't mean the other friends won't matter. I wouldn't make too much of a big deal out of this, and I wouldn't bring it up in conversation. It's probably best to just let it go. If she starts to separate from you, know that it's normal. Friendships are made and they're broken, like everything else. Both my parents had people they were friends with for years, and then they just separated from them. Sometimes it's bitter, but do your best to make the separation peaceful if it does happen. New friends are always waiting. Considering there are almost seven billion people in the world, I don't think it'll be too hard to find someone else if a separation does happen. But, again, I don't think it's going to. Don't lose sleep over it. – Megan, 14, Illinois (PenPal #13317)
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