He Won't Let Me Go!

"Hey, Leslie!" Sure, that is a tough situation you're in. It sounds like your dad is having a tough time himself. Why is he acting like that? Is he always like that? Do you know if he has a big problem in his work or in money matters or anything that makes him feel so stressed? He probably doesn't have anyone to talk to and he hopes that everybody can understand him, or at least just somebody. You never know, right? In my opinion, the best thing to do is to make life easier for him. Try to show him that you do understand. Show him that you appreciate him, in every little thing you do. Maybe a small present would cheer him up a little!

Some parents think that they should never let their children keep secrets from them. We often hear nowadays about social problems among teenagers. Those are probably what your parents are worrying about.Parents always want the best for their children, so there must be
reasons why your father is doing all these to you. But there's one mistake he has made. He doesn't realize that you are a teenager; you have already grown up. He must be feeling that it was like just yesterday when you were the sweet little baby he cradled in his arms.

Therefore, it would be a good move if you try to talk to him personally. Assure him that you can take care of yourself. This is going to be a talk between two mature people. Talk to him as an adult so that he will trust that you know which is wrong and which is right. Tell
him how you feel when he does this to you. Everybody has the rights in having their own privacy. If you can respect his rights, why can't he respect your rights? (EDITOR'S TIP: Be sure to not get into a shouting match with him. Staying calm is a good way of impressing the 'rents)

Discuss with him if you can lock your room or drawers. Invite him and your sister sometimes into your room. When you're in your room, do not lock the door. You might want to close the door, but do not lock it. With this, he would be sure that you're not keeping inappropriate stuff or doing anything bad in there. Show him that you have nothing bad to hide from him.

Also, find out why he forbids you to hang out with your friends. If he answers that he wants you to study and doesn't want your friends to disturb you, then there is just one thing you ought to do; study. Satisfy him and he might at last satisfy you too. Show him that you're
not hanging out with your friends all the time; that you always care about what he needs.

Anyway, if all these don't work, I think it's time for you to get help from an adult you can trust. After all, it is an adult who can understand other adults. Give him some time to get used to the 'new' you.

Leslie, your father loves you just too much. However, in order to make a happy family, everyone must respect and understand each other. That's what makes a relationship grow stronger, and it is also the thing that makes a house a home.

Raja, 13, Malaysia