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And in the mean time, check out some past questions here in our Archives:

How Can I Make Peace Between the Various Religions?
I Want to Get Gramma Off My Back!
MyAunt's Too Bossy!
My Sibs Keep Fighting Over the Phone!
They All Notice My Brother!
I Wish My Mom Would Just Lay Off!
How Do I Get Dad to Approve My BF?
Dad Hogs the Computer!
I Can't Quit Daydreaming!
But I Try My Hardest!
My Brother Is a Vandal!
How Can I Connect With My Dad?
My Brother's Too Protective!
How Do I Stop My Cousin From Taking Over?
MY MOM DOESN'T SUPPORT ME!
My Sister Is Killing My Self-Esteem!
My Mom is Embarrassing!
What Do I Do With My Tag-Along Little Sister?
We May Be Identical But We're Not The Same!
How Can I Get Mom to Pay Attention to Me?
We've Moved Out of the Country And I Don't Want to Be Here!
But I Just Want to Wear Some Nail Polish!
Who's My Mom Caring About More?
My Sister is Sooo Bossy!
But I'm Growing Up, Mom!
I Need Someone to Have Fun With!
We Can't Stop Arguing!
He Won't Let Me Go!
We're Not Identical Anymore!
They're My Cousins...
Should I Tell Them?
Why Don't I Get the Compliments Too?
But We're Different!
I Just Want My Dad to Listen!
My Dad Is So Critical!
I Hate Private School!
I Don't Know Him... Should I Call?/ I Want to Get Along!

Next Week

This column was posted on 6/29/2009. Check back next week to see another "Family Faire!" question and answer. It could be yours!

Dear Family Faire

 

I Feel Forgotten!

My mom and dad are very depressed. My two younger sisters died in a traffic accident about two months ago. Ever since then, my mom and dad mope around. Whenever I try to talk to them they say something like, "Hannah, do you think your sisters are watching us? Do you think they are mad? Why did this have to happen?" Then my mom starts crying. Or she says something like this, "Just go pray! You'll never know when you'll get hit by a car and die!" I'M SO SICK OF IT! I know it’s terrible that they died, but maybe its fate. I want my mom and dad to get over it. This is how much attention they pay to me: I got a D- on my report card and my social studies teacher called my parents and told them and when I got home from school that day they said, "We got a call from your teacher and heard your grades! That D- is great!" I mean come on! What do I do? I feel forgotten! – Hannah, 12, USA


Hi Hannah. Losing family is difficult. Sometimes it's hard to let go. Talk to your parents about how you feel, but also about the accident. Talking to someone about your problems is always better then letting feelings build up inside so you yell, "You never know when you'll be in an accident!" It's understandable your parents are upset and it's likely they will be for a little while longer. Grief is a funny thing that way. For example this past summer I lost my grandma on my dad's side to cancer. My sister and dad took the death the hardest, becoming sad any time my grandma was mentioned. Sometimes my sister (and this still happens now) would just break down in tears. Like you, I found myself in the position of someone who knew that what had happened was terrible but more or less wanted to move on, remembering the good times. Don't get too mad at your parents, and be patient. You and they are experiencing a life-changing ordeal that will take time. Don't worry, you're not forgotten. Just talk to your parents or write a letter if that's easier. However you do it, tell them how you feel. It's your best bet for getting through. I hope this helps! – Josie, 13, Canada

Dear Hannah, I know just how you feel. Once, my mom got really depressed, too. She is a single parent and I felt like every time I talked to her she was in another world. What you should do is write your mother a note and leave it by her bed. She's probably going to read the note and begin to understand how you feel. If she doesn't confront you, then you confront her. Sometimes it's easier to talk to somebody after they know how you feel. Who knows, she might come talk to you first. Well, write me back if you need anymore help and I really hope that the whole situation will heal up. Just remember to let your parents know that, even though they have had some loses, they still have an amazing daughter to live for. Also, tell them exactly how you feel in your note. Sometimes our parents don't know how they are affecting us in their actions. Maybe you mom and dad don't know that you feel this way. Maybe they don't know that they are treating you this way. – Aleia, 15, USA

Hey Hannah. I am so sorry about your sisters. First of all, its only been TWO MONTHS. When you lose a child, or worse, two children, that’s tragic and two months isn’t really giving them enough time to move on. I don’t know how close you were to your sisters but have some sympathy. If I lost any of my siblings I don’t know how long it would take for me to be ok, and it would definitely change me drastically. I know you feel forgotten, but losing a loved one isn’t always easy to get over. You might want to give them some time. After that sit down and talk to them, let them know how you feel too, tell them that you miss your sisters but it is no ones fault what happened and there isn’t any way to go back. Let them know you are there for them when they need you and you should all be thankful you have each other. Good luck. – Gabby, 15, Ohio


Pssst!

Pssst! Our advice columnists can't answer every question personally. But we do our best to pick and answer questions representative of all our reader's problems. Is this an emergency? Need advice FAST?

  1. Here's a list of telephone help lines from PBS - Help's Around the Corner!
  2. Contact Teen Line Online: Teens Helping Teens
  3. Check out the National Runaway Switchboard
  4. Get in touch with other girls and talk it over - in our Circle of Friends PenPal Club!
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