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And in the mean time, check out some past questions here in our Archives:

How Can I Make Peace Between the Various Religions?
I Want to Get Gramma Off My Back!
MyAunt's Too Bossy!
My Sibs Keep Fighting Over the Phone!
They All Notice My Brother!
I Wish My Mom Would Just Lay Off!
How Do I Get Dad to Approve My BF?
Dad Hogs the Computer!
I Can't Quit Daydreaming!
But I Try My Hardest!
My Brother Is a Vandal!
How Can I Connect With My Dad?
My Brother's Too Protective!
How Do I Stop My Cousin From Taking Over?
MY MOM DOESN'T SUPPORT ME!
My Sister Is Killing My Self-Esteem!
My Mom is Embarrassing!
What Do I Do With My Tag-Along Little Sister?
We May Be Identical But We're Not The Same!
How Can I Get Mom to Pay Attention to Me?
We've Moved Out of the Country And I Don't Want to Be Here!
But I Just Want to Wear Some Nail Polish!
Who's My Mom Caring About More?
My Sister is Sooo Bossy!
But I'm Growing Up, Mom!
I Need Someone to Have Fun With!
We Can't Stop Arguing!
He Won't Let Me Go!
We're Not Identical Anymore!
They're My Cousins...
Should I Tell Them?
Why Don't I Get the Compliments Too?
But We're Different!
I Just Want My Dad to Listen!
My Dad Is So Critical!
I Hate Private School!
I Don't Know Him... Should I Call?/ I Want to Get Along!

Next Week

This column was posted on 8/31/2010. Check back next week to see another "Family Faire!" question and answer. It could be yours!

Dear Family Faire

 

Dad Scares Me!

My parents got a divorce four years ago when I was nine.  Now my mom is getting remarried and my dad is obviously not happy about it. Every other weekend I go to his house to spend time with him. Usually at night we go out to dinner but now he leaves without me. He wants to go alone, so I stay home and watch a movie. When he comes home he's drunk. It's not like this every night but it scares me. I don't know what to do! – Lexi, 13, Montana


Lexi, you are in a dangerous position. You need to tell your mom or your grandparents. That is not okay that he's going to the bars when he knows he has a responsibility to you. Talk to him about it. And be serious and straight-forward. Tell him he does have something to live for, and that he is hurting you more than anyone. Tell him that if he can't handle all of that, then you would prefer to stay with your mom when he wants to get drunk.   When he is drunk when he comes home, call your grandparents or your mom. A drunk man (and his actions) isn't something for a girl to see. Tell people. Get yourself out of that situation. No one can help you if they don't know. Nobody can help your dad if they don't know. Go with your gut.  Help yourself! – Andraya, 14, USA

Dear Lexi,  that’s a hard situation to be in. Have you tried to talk to your mom or another adult about this? I get that this doesn’t happen every night. But if you’re only over there every other weekend he should be spending time with you, especially since you’re not over there that often. An adult should not put you in a situation like that, especially one that can end up dangerous because sometimes people act different drunk. If it’s not something you feel comfortable talking to your mom about try another parent, teacher, grandparent, or family member. I hope it gets better for you. – Ashley, 15, Illinois

Hey, Lexi! First of all, I suggest you talk to your mom. If your dad ends up getting drunk, it's NOT safe for you to be in the same house. He could seriously hurt you without meaning to. He just wouldn't be thinking right from all the alcohol he took in. Tell someone about this. That's the only thing I'm gonna say. Also, I know it's really hard, but you've gotta do it to keep yourself safe. – Lauren, 14, USA (PenPal #16584)

Pssst!

Pssst! Our advice columnists can't answer every question personally. But we do our best to pick and answer questions representative of all our reader's problems. Is this an emergency? Need advice FAST?

  1. Here's a list of telephone help lines from PBS - Help's Around the Corner!
  2. Contact Teen Line Online: Teens Helping Teens
  3. Check out the National Runaway Switchboard
  4. Get in touch with other girls and talk it over - in our Circle of Friends PenPal Club!
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