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Boys & Friends Are Messy!

Every time I like a boy, one of my friends decides to tell everyone they like him before I can. I feel weird telling them after one of my friends has just said they liked them, so I keep it to myself. Now I like this cute boy but my friend had liked him, and he hates her. She now has a bf and she said she still wants to get with him even though I like him. If I tell her I like him she might get mad and try to get with him even though he hates her. What should I do? Should I tell my friends? – Ashley, 13, New York

Ashley, as much as you love your friends, sometimes you've got to do things for Ashley. Friends are fun, and we love them no matter what. But let's face it - they can make things miserable. I'd say that this whole situation sounds complicated. Maybe it's even something that isn't worth pursuing because it will upset your friends. That is a reasonable thought. However, if you do decide this boy is worth it, put a zipper on that lip when your friends are gossiping about who they're going after next. – Emma, 15, USA

Hey Ashley! As much as you may not want to hear this but it needs to be said. I have been through the same situation, and in the end I realized that if my friend was really my friend she would be happy that I found someone I really cared about. She wouldn’t be trying to "steal" him from me. I think maybe you should confront your friend that is doing this, and tell her that you really care for him. Tell her you would appreciate it if she could back off for a bit and take into consideration HER boyfriend’s feelings and her BEST friend’s. If she doesn’t listen, maybe she isn’t the type of person you want to be confiding in and being good friends with. Hope I helped. Good luck! – Kelsey, 14, Canada

Tell your friends if they can't respect your feelings then they really aren't your friends. If you truly like a boy, friends should support your decision. A strong friendship is never worth a boy. But from what you've told me, your friend isn't really being a friend. I say go for the boy and see what happens. Your friend will either walk away and then you'll know she wasn't worth it, or your friend will realize you know how to stand up for yourself and they'll apologize for their actions and behavior. – Brianna, 15, Hawaii

Pssst!

Pssst! Our advice columnists can't answer every question personally. But we do our best to pick and answer questions representative of all our reader's problems. Is this an emergency? Need advice FAST?

Here's a list of telephone help lines from PBS - Help's Around the Corner!
Contact Teen Line Online: Teens Helping Teens
Check out the National Runaway Switchboard
Get in touch with other girls and talk it over - in our Circle of Friends PenPal Club!

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