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Get Advice

Got a question about guys and relationships you'd like another girl to answer? Click here to send your question in to "Boy Zone!"

And check out some past questions here in our archive:
We've Been Friends Since Pre-School!
We're Not On the Same Clock!
My Boyfriend Is My Best Friend's Ex!
Christmas is Ruined!
Is He Going To Be a Boyfriend or Not?
Is He Just Flirting?
He Makes Fun of My Room!

How Do I Convince Him We're Just Friends?
Will He Ever Figure Out He Likes Me?

I'm So Shy Around Guys!

I've Got a Crush on an Older Guy!
I'm Insecure About My Crush!
Why Does This Guy Keep Insulting Me?

My Best Friend And I Like The Same Guy!
How Can I Work It Out Between My Boyfriend and My Girlfriends?
Dump Him or Keep Him?
I'm An "Old Fashioned" Girl!

I'm Short and The Boys Don't Notice Me!
I Want Him to Go Away!
My Friend is Being Sooo Jealous!
How Do I Get Him to Notice Me?
I Didn't Kiss Him!
How Do I Know?
My Friend Wants Me to Play Matchmaker!
Does He...Or Doesn't He?!
We're Good Friends...Maybe More

My Cousin Already Has Him
Why is She Doing This?!

Why Doesn't He Talk?
He's Still Bothering Me!
Why Is He Being So Mean?
He Hangs Up on Me For His Friends!
But I Do Like Him! How Can I Get Him Back?
He Might Be a Pothead; What Do I Do?
Could He Be a Boyfriend Or Not?
Doesn't He Get It?!/ How Can I Tell Him?

Next Week

This column was posted on 6/29/2009. Check back next week to see another "BoyZone!" question and answer. It could be yours!

dear Boy Zone

You're in - the BOY ZONE

It's Our Secret!

There's this guy, that has a girlfriend - but he likes me and finds me very attractive and such. So him and I began dating even though he has a girlfriend. No one is supposed to find out or he's in big trouble. I sort of like this guy but I know he using me. What do I do? Continue our secret relationship, or end things before they get too serious? – Arianna, 15, California


Listen Arianna, I know that you might really like this guy. But if he doesn't really like you, then you shouldn't go out with him. If you know he is using you then why would you want to go out with him? I know you may think you really like him now, but if he's only using you than I can promise you aren't going to like him in a few weeks. And if he can't make you his main priority than why should you go out with him? You also need to think about this other girl’s feelings. If she finds out (and people will find out) how do you think she'll feel about you? Probably not too great. Even if he breaks up with her, he cheated on her for you. How do you know he won't cheat on you as soon as another girl comes along? You are worth a boy’s full time and attention and if he doesn't know that he's missing out. Wait for someone who really cares about you. – Rachel, 13, USA

I think you need to end it right away. Dating him while he has a girlfriend puts you in a really bad position. He's cheating on his girlfriend with you. If she finds out, it probably won't be too pretty. You also have to think about his other girlfriend's feelings. If she found out he was doing this, she would feel terrible. I know this because my boyfriend cheated on me, and it hurt – A LOT. Not only will it hurt her, but think about yourself. By dating her AND you, it just means he can't make up his mind, which pretty much means he doesn't care enough about you to be with ONLY you. So the best thing to do is tell him if he really cares about you, he'll break up with his other girlfriend THEN ask you out. If he doesn't, he obviously doesn't care as much as it may seem. So break it off and find a guy who's actually worth your time. I really hope I helped and I hope you figure out what to do! – Samantha, 15, Ohio (PenPal #15400)

OK, I know I'm a little bit younger than you are, but this happened to a close, personal friend of mine and I know what to do. You need to tell this boy that your secret relationship is wrong. It's wrong and nasty to have this boy start liking another girl before breaking up with his girlfriend. And if this boy is just using you, you need to end it before someone gets hurt; you, the boy, his girlfriend, or all three of you. Even if you don't want to break up with him, remember that he is just using you and he has a girlfriend. Be smart, even if this boy isn't. – Leah, 11, Pennsylvania


Pssst!

Pssst! Our advice columnists can't answer every question personally. But we do our best to pick and answer questions representative of all our reader's problems. Is this an emergency? Need advice FAST?

  1. Here's a list of telephone help lines from PBS - Help's Around the Corner!
  2. Contact Teen Line Online: Teens Helping Teens
  3. Check out the National Runaway Switchboard
  4. Get in touch with other girls and talk it over - in our Circle of Friends PenPal Club!
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