Are you the next "Dear Abby?" Are you the person everyone goes to for advice? Click here to become an Instant Advice Columnist for "Tuff Talk!"

Got a question about the tuff stuff in life you'd like another girl to answer? Click here to send your question in to "Tuff Talk!"

This column was posted on 6/29/2009. Check back next week to see another "Tuff Talk!" question and answer. It could be yours!

I Can't Stop Eating!

I desperately need advice on my body. I'm not one of those skinny girls who think they're fat. No, I am fat. I'm 230 pounds, and I am 14. I'm afraid I'm going to let it get too far. I'm wondering if I should stop eating. I try and try to lose weight, but it keeps coming back. I don't know what to do. I've tried to stop eating unhealthy foods, but they are tempting! I can't control myself and food anymore. – Sarah, 14, Canada

When I saw this I just had to reply because guess what? I’m 14 and weigh about 210. I found out that instead of starving myself and being unhappy about being over weight that I would do things to improve myself. For example, I started wearing make up that brightened up my face and made me feel better about myself. I found one friend and became friends with her friends and their friends and so on. Now we have one HUGE group. I started spending more time outside and becoming fit. I don’t mean skinny I mean being able to run and play around with my friends. I also learned how to play an instrument. Are you shy because of this? I was! But if you say one word to one person you get over that real quickly. If you want to loose weight then you don’t have to totally cut out all of the yummy food. Just cut out one thing. If you walk for 30 minutes everyday and cut out pop or two Little Debbie snacks, then I guarantee you can loose five pounds a month. If you don’t see pounds are shedding on the scale, look at your body. You could be just gaining muscles. Don’t let the scale control your life. – Danielle, 14, Kentucky (PenPal #12741)

Let me say right away that just not eating is never a good idea. You'll be tired and sad while you're doing it, and all the weight you might lose fasting like that will only be water weight. This means that once you start eating normally you’ll gain it all back, and maybe more! Losing weight the healthy way will keep the weight off, and help you feel better about yourself. I've been heavy most of my life and it was mostly because I had no self-control over eating sweets. Lately I've been doing better about it. There are lots of little things you can do that'll help. Instead of eating the whole cookie yourself, split it with your friend/sibling and give them the bigger half. Chances are you won't miss the other half that much. Drink lots of water all day long, it will help keep you fuller so you don't snack as much. I chew gum in the afternoon, because I know if I don't have something to chew on I'll go out into the kitchen and eat a whole box of crackers! Stop eating things you know are bad for you a little bit at a time, so that it doesn’t feel like you’re giving that much up. And treat yourself to bad stuff every once and a while! Just make sure you keep sweets as a ‘treat’ and not a twice-daily affair. The last part, and probably the most important part, is to talk to someone you trust, your mom or a friend’s mom or your grandma, someone who can help you find out how to eat balanced and healthy and also help you stay on track with your eating. Keep a good mindset and be committed. Know that no matter what size you are you’re beautiful! – Saylor, 15, Arkansas

Sarah, you’ve said it yourself – you can’t control yourself OR food any more. That means you’re going to need help. Not someone to make you stop eating, or to keep you away from food, but help to get your control back. Go to your regular doctor and ask them to find you some counseling. At this point, there may be a lot of weight on your hips, but the problem is mostly in your head. If you can learn to control what you eat, you can lose the weight. But you can’t learn that from the Internet, or all by yourself. You’ll need help. Fortunately, you live in Canada and it won’t cost you a lot to get that help. Good luck, girlfriend! You can do it! – Tammi, 16, Nevada