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Got a question about the tuff stuff in life you'd like another girl to answer? Click here to send your question in to "Tuff Talk!" And check out some past questions here in the archive: What Can I Do to Make Mum Feel Better? They Hate Me At School! My Friend Said She Stole Stuff; Is She Stealing From Me? I Can't Remember Anything! What Can I Do For My Bulimic Friend? My Friend's Starting to Use Drugs! There's a Crime Spree in My Neighborhood! I Don't Have Much Self Confidence! "Tuff" Girls Threatened My Gal Pal! You Can Help Your Abused Friend! Oh, No, I Have Braces Now! I'm Unattractive! How Can I Handle My Parents' Divorce? They Don't Like The Way I Dress! She Acts Like the Self-Appointed Fashion Police! How Can I Tell Her It's Okay That She's Not My Mom! I Don't Know If This Guy Is Trouble! He's Being Abusive to My Friend! How Can I Get My Friend To Trust Me Again? My Family Is Driving Me Nuts with Worrying About Me! I Don't Know How to Get Motivated! Who Are My Real Friends? How Can I Lose Weight Safely? I'm Losing Too Much Weight! My Boy Friend's Sister Hates Me! How Do I Cope with His Death? I'm Sick and I'm Scared I'm Treated Differently and I Want it to Stop! New School and No friends?! Mom's Way, Or My Way? My Face is Spotty! She's Telling Me Who I Can Date! I Don't Want to Be Short and Skinny! How Am I Going To Make New Friends? I Get So Jealous of My Friend! Spotty Skin is Getting Me Down! How Can I Get Through the Year With an Unfair Teacher? What Do I Do About My Sneaking Sister?/My Dad Hits Me A Lot and It Hurts! This column was posted on 8/31/2010. Check back next week to see another "Tuff Talk!" question and answer. It could be yours! |
They're Driving Me Crazy! So this is my senior year and like most of students, I haven't exactly decided what I want to become as a grown up. My parents have been driving me crazy. I can't bear the thought of talking to them anymore, I feel suffocated. They keep pushing that "oh become a dentist" thought on me. It's what they keep trying to include in every conversation I have with them. I’m seriously thinking of not going to university at all if they keep this up. It’s annoying me. I haven’t even figured out what I want to become, let alone have them figure it out for me. – Lana, 17, USA Wow! Have I got loads of good news for you! First of all - by the time you are old enough to go to college, your parents can't force *anything* on you. You become what you want to become, and they are legally prohibited from stopping you as long as your profession abides by the law. And please, please go to college. Your life will be much more financially stable - leaving you less worried and happier - if you do. Don't let your parents' nagging destroy your chances of getting a good education. As for not knowing what you want to do, few people know exactly what they want when they start college. In fact, many people go through college and change their minds halfway through, or a quarter of the way through, or three-quarters...you get what I mean. You might even change your mind after college. So you don't need to know what you want to be. You'll figure it out. I still am not sure about what I want to be. I got into music about three years ago, and that was out of the blue. Before that, I would have never thought that I would be a musician. So your profession might just whack you in the face unexpectedly. When you go to college (you are allowed to wait a while before going to college if you like - you don't have to go right after you finish high school! There are people of all ages who attend college), try classes out that you think you'd like. Explore a little bit. Don't explore too much for too long - there is big money going towards these classes and you should probably figure out whether or not you like a class before it's too late to get a refund. You should still explore, though. You might be surprised by what you like. And, if, in the end, you want to become a dentist, that's fine, too. But there are a lot of professional, good-paying jobs out there. Who ever said you need to be a dentist? (My cousin is trying to become one and she can tell you that dentistry schools are really tough to get into.) Hope this helps. If your parents keep bothering you, just let it be. Know in your mind that, in the end, they can't control you after you turn 18. As long as you obey the law, you can do whatever you want - and, eventually, you will know what you want. – Megan, 15, Illinois (PenPal #13317) It's senior year for me too. Luckily I’ve found what I want to do. But for you, just keep thinking. Just because your parents are pressuring you, don't decide not to go to college. In this day and age, college is your best bet at a good job. Keep thinking about things you enjoy doing and careers that can result from that. Do you enjoy writing? You can go to college for creative writing or journalism, or if you like history you can major in history and be a historian. Or major in English or something and be a teacher. Maybe instead of a dentist you want to be a doctor. Think of all your options and your likes. Because you won't survive college or your future career if you don't enjoy it. – Breanna, 16, Tennessee Dear Lana, I don't know much about universities yet, but I am certain of one thing: you gotta love what you do. Go with your passions and what you're interested in, not what your parents want you to be. Tell them firmly that it's your life, you want to pursue your dreams, and make your impression on the world in your own way. – Harper, 14, USA
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