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This column was posted on 12/4/2002. Check back next week to see another "Tuff Talk!" question and answer. It could be yours!

They Hate Me At School!

Like everyone at school hates me and they throw stuff at me and call me names. :( It really upsets me and sometimes I just wanna run home and cry. Everyone thinks I'm really ugly and I just don't know what to do. They're all talking about the grad and homecoming and about who they're going with and what they will wear. All the 'cool' and 'popular' girls all have dates and I'm like a loner like everyone hates me. :( What can I do? Please help me! - Sabrina, 13, Canada

"Hey, Sabrina!" Your letter touches upon a very hard subject. First off, I want to assure that you ARE beautiful. Do you know why? Because originality and uniqueness are traits of beauty! You sometimes hear people say that someone is not 'normal'. Except that nobody, and listen to me, Sabrina, NOBODY is normal. I'm not, you're not, even those 'popular' girls aren't. Why? Because everyone is different, everyone has their own mind, own style, own look, and if everyone is different, there simply can't be any normal!

Second, Sabrina, I want to tell you something extremely important. Do you know what those 'popular' girls have that makes them so popular? Believe it or not, they are not popular because they are 'pretty', or because they are 'cool', but because, in all things, they are confident in themselves. As you enter highschool, Sabrina, it is important for you to be happy with yourself. Look in the mirror and appreciate how you look. Those certain activities you love, those hobbies, take them for your own. Decide who you are, and that no one can tell you different. If those 'popular' girls make fun of you, hold your head up high and smile, because you know better than they do, FOR A FACT, that what they just said wasn't true. This is supposed to be a happy time in your life, Sabrina, a time to build good memories that will stay with you for the rest of your life. Talk to your mom and dad, tell them how the things these people say make you feel.

And, lastly Sabrina, when you go into that school, and people are laughing and making fun of you, don't get angry, all they want is a reaction, just smile and laugh with them. Believe it or not, it works! Even if they don't immediatly make you their Queen Goddess around school (which you really don't want to be), they will stop taunting you, because they will know that Sabrina doesn't care what they think about her, only what she thinks about herself. And that is all that matters, Sabrina.

Michelle, 16, Washington