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This column was posted on 1/2/2003. Check back next week to see another "Tuff Talk!" question and answer. It could be yours!

What Can I Do to Make Mum Feel Better?

My grandpa (my mum's dad) died over the holiday and my mum is going around like a zombie. She has been to the doctor and my dad is doing the best he can to comfort her. Should I just stay out of her way or what can I do to make things better for her? - Darlene, 15, U.K.

"Hey, Darlene!" I know this must be very sad for you and I'm sorry. I send my deepest sympathy. And about your mom, you should stay out of her way but you shouldn't be a ghost. Wake up early one morning while shes sleeping... Make her breakfast and set it on her dresser neatly with a little note that says it was from you. Stay out of her way, but like I said, Don't be a ghost. And if she looks really depressed then go up to her and take a chance, say "Mum, I'm sorry about grandpa, do you wanna talk? Maybe I can help." If she says no then politely say, "Ok, I love you." Believe me! It will make her feel better. If she says yes then just hug her and tell her its ok that you love her. And listen. And if she dosen't get better, just remember, she will learn over time that she needs to move on, and everything will gradually get better. She's an adult; she'll realize it sooner or later. Good luck!

Rebecca, 12, Florida