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This column was posted on 2/13/2003. Check back next week to see another "Tuff Talk!" question and answer. It could be yours!

Who Are My Real Friends?

Sometimes I feel that my friends are my friends because they feel bad for me. I'm like the class clown and I'm also kind of overweight and super tall. And I feel like a loser and I'm the only person who feels this way. Am I just freaked out and have nothing to worry about? And are there other people that feel this way? - Jenna, 12, California

"Hey, Jenna!" Well, is there a reason why your friends would not like you? Are you mean, rude or selfish? I don't know you but by your question, I would say you're not. And I can assure you that you're not the only one who asked herself, "Do my friends really like me? Are they really my friends? Am I too big, too little, too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short?" Everyone asks themselves these questions all the time. It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like; even the most beautiful person in the world, if they exist.

I don't know your friends but I'm sure they don't care if you're overweight or too tall. They like you because of who you are and what you stand for, not what you look like or what you wear. If they like you, they're going to be your friends not because of what you look like, but because they think you're a good person and that you make a good friend. So I don't think you have anything to worry about.

And if people don't like you because of what you look like then they don't deserve to be your friend and therefore, you should not want to be friends with them.

Always keep in mind, everyone is different in all kinds of ways. It's hard to do but try not to think so much about what others think about you, because you'd be surprised how much they really don't. And if that doesn't help, think about yourself. Do you just sit around thinking how ugly, short, fat, tall, or skinny people are? You probably don't.

Well, Jenna, I hope I was able to help you and answer your question for you.

Brook 16 ,Texas