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This column was posted on 10/7/2003. Check back next week to see another "Tuff Talk!" question and answer. It could be yours!

What Do I Do About My Sneaking Sister?

I have a seventeen-year-old sister. She's always sneaking out of the house and asking me to cover for her. Since we share a room, we are very close. I love my sister and I don't want her to get in trouble... but I feel guilty about lying to my parents. Plus, I'm feeling left out because my life isn't half as exciting as hers is. What should I do? - Caroline, 11, Louisiana

"Hey, Caroline!" I have a brother who was the same. I know you don't wanna hear this, but no matter how much you love her, tattle. It's the only way she'll learn. I admit sometimes it doesn't work. My brother has been in every correctional facility in the state: rehab, jail, overdose hospital, everything! My mom loves him too much to do anything. He is single-handedly ruining my life. He's 20-something and still lives here. He steals from me and I hate him. If I had the courage to do what I'm asking you to do (i.e. overcome the charm), maybe things would be diffrent. It's just like a dog: if you tell it no, it'll hate you for an hour, but it'll love you for a lifetime.

Kim, 15, Texas

"Hey, Caroline!" That's a toughy. I think you should tell her that you really don't like having to lie about her to your parents, and that you aren't going to be doing it anymore. Also ask her if she invited you along to some of the things in her life, you might not even have to cover for her.

Jenna, 13, California

"Hey, Caroline!" Tell your parents.

Megan, 12, Louisiana

My Dad Hits Me A Lot and It Hurts!

My dad always hits me a lot and yells at me. He blames me for things I don't do. My friends tell me it's wrong of him to be doing this and he shouldn't be, but he says I need discipline so I will grow up right. But it hurts a lot. What can I do? - Shelley, 10, Canada

"Hey, Shelley!" Your friends are definitely right to say that what your dad is doing is completely wrong! It's called abuse, and it's against the law. As in any other country, here in Canada, we have very strict rules against abuse, and it is taken very seriously. Your dad is right to say you need a certain amount of discipline to grow up right, after all, if he didn't discipline you when you did something wrong, then things would be totally out of whack! But hitting you is NOT the right way to handle discipline. Your dad is a grown man, and I'm sure he knows very well the laws on abuse. You have to get yourself help, Shelley! Do you have a trusted adult in your life (ie: teacher, family member, friends mom, etc) that you would feel comfortable telling about this? If you tell a trusted adult, they can get you help, and make the abuse stop. I encourage you to tell someone you trust. I know it may be scary, but it's the only way for this to stop. Another option you have is by calling a helpline in your area. One I know that is avaiable 24 hours a day, 7 days a week from anywhere in Canada is Kids Help Phone. You can reach them by calling 1-800-668-6868. All calls are confidential and it's completely free to call. They can help you with this and also make the abuse stop. You can also at anytime call 911. If ever you are being abused, and you are scared call 911 and help will come immediately. Shelley, you have to tell someone before it gets worse. Your dad has to know what he is doing is wrong. I promise you that after you tell someone, you won't have to worry about being abused again. Your dad will never lay a finger on you again. But you HAVE to tell someone ASAP. If you feel more comfortable, when you tell someone (calling that number, or in person), you can have a friend with you. Sometimes having the support of a friend makes it easier to go through. Good luck and take care. I hope this helps you.

Whitney, 16, Canada

"Hey, Shelley!" Your father is wrong. You are being physically abused and it needs to stop right now. If there is not another adult at home who you could speak to (you mother, maybe?), talk to another trusted adult. A teacher, a grandparent, a friend's parent, anyone who you know who has your best wishes at heart. Tell them exactly what you wrote here - and be specific. This is not a problem that you should have to handle. Your father has a problem. You have absolutley no fault in any of this, no matter what. Once you tell an adult about this, it will be their responsibility to take care of it, and not yours. Good luck, and please do not hesitate.

Gillian, 14, United States