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This column was posted on 8/13/2003. Check back next week to see another "Tuff Talk!" question and answer. It could be yours!

She's Telling Me Who I Can Date!

Here's how it goes. I date both white guys and black guys and I have for a while. My best friend did too, until she all of a sudden decided to date only white guys!! So now she tells me all the time that she doesn't think that dating the guy I am with is a good Idea because he is black. But I really do like this guy, and I don't want to break up with him just because my friend says it isn't a good Idea!! What should I do ? I love my friend, too. - Kandy, 16, Georgia

"Hey, Kandy!" Well, this would be the point where you'd have to make a decision. I mean, you could break it off with your boyfriend, but you wouldn't be doing it for yourself. You'd be doing it for your friend. My advice would be to talk with your friend about it. Don't be rude and come off like you're placing blame, but do put your foot down. Tell her that this is your love life and that's something that doesn't concern her.

Also, try and get her to understand your point of view. You could refer back to when she used to date black men. And if that doesn't go over too well with her, and if she won't accept it, maybe she's not worth having as a friend. Friends support you. They help you balance yourself out after a hard break up. They're there to comfort you, not to make things harder on you.

But, do keep in mind that most relationships don't last forever. You should ask yourself if this guy is really worth getting into it with your friend. You have to kind of see the situation from both ends. Just keep your best interest in mind.

Nichole, 15, Guam